Death, Sex & Money

In this Slate Plus episode, a listener named Ana P. Santos explains what it was like to free herself from an unhappy marriage in her home country of the Philippines, where divorce is technically illegal.  This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock exclusive bonus episodes of Death, Sex & Money—you’ll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. You can subscribe directly from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.

Therapist Lauren LaRusso has spent the past few years learning everything she can about infidelity–why people have affairs, how to cope with an unfaithful spouse, and how to move forward with or without your partner after a betrayal. And she’s been sharing this wisdom with her 100,000 followers on Instagram.  This week, Lauren explains why she approaches this topic with more curiosity than judgment, and she discusses the affair that happened in her own marriage that led her to become a trusted and invested authority on the matter.  Learn more about Lauren at laurenlarusso.com or on her Instagram page. She also writes at laurenlarusso.substack.com.   This episode references the song Next Lifetime by Erykah Badu. Podcast production by Cameron Drews.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Slate Plus episode, Anna talks to a listener named Chey whose commitment to self-love and body positivity is an everyday struggle. Chey is a reproductive health educator and community leader who promotes radical self love. She also struggles with an eating disorder. Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Cameron Drews. This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock exclusive bonus episodes of Death, Sex & Money—you’ll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. You can subscribe directly from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.

In 2021, we released an episode called The Weight of Love, where listeners shared stories about weight, body size, and how those factors affect their romantic relationships. Fast-forward to 2024, and weight loss drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy have complicated these issues even further.  This week, listeners share stories and questions about dating, romance, sex, and self-love in the Ozempic era, and we’ve assembled a panel of experts to respond. Ronald Young Jr. is the host of Weight For It, a podcast about the conversations that we tend to avoid when it comes to our bodies. Anna Holmes wrote about her experience with the weight loss drug Mounjaro for Slate (and she is also executive producer for the exciting new podcast, The Wonder of Stevie). Jill Lewis is a body-positive therapist based in Atlanta. You can follow her on Instagram @jlewistherapy.  Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Cameron Drews.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From an early age, Alynda Segarra saw the people they loved grind it out in an American system that offered them little reward. Their father, a musician and Vietnam War veteran, suffered from PTSD, and their aunt and uncle, with whom they lived, were stretched beyond their means. Alynda decided they would take a different path: drop out of school, hop trains, and form a band. "I just thought I should take a bunch of risks in [my family's] honor," Alynda told Anna. In 2024, Hurray for the Riff Raff released their ninth album, The Past Is Still Alive, and it explores that early period of risk-taking and leaving home. In this episode, Alynda talks to Anna about how writing the album, plus the recent death of their father, made them reconsider family dynamics, joy, and what it means to be free. You can read their newsletter, Resist Psychic Death, here. There’s a playlist of the songs in our episode here.  Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, author and podcaster Kendra Adachi explains how she took perfectionism and strict time-management way too far and was forced to radically change her ways. Her new book is called The Plan: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius, and it aims to be what most time-management books aren’t: flexible, kind, and applicable to people with busy schedules and loved ones to care for.  To learn more about Kendra’s 13 Lazy Genius principles, check out this episode of her podcast: 13 Principles That Will Change Your Life Forever.    Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Find us and follow us on Instagram, and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Want more Death, Sex & Money? Join Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. You can subscribe directly from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Slate Plus episode, Anna looks into the current state of pop womanhood and the growing popularity of artists like Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, and Charli XCX. Her guests are Slate culture writer Nadira Goffe and senior business editor Katie Krzaczek.  Podcast production by Cameron Drews.  This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock weekly bonus episodes of Death, Sex & Money, but you’ll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.

When he was 11 years old, actor Haley Joel Osment was nominated for an Oscar. His resume was already long and impressive, but his role as Cole Sear in M. Night Shyamalan’s psychological thriller The Sixth Sense cemented him as an acting prodigy and a big star. Money, fame, and accolades rapidly flew in his direction.  But Osment managed to avoid a lot of the common hurdles that early fame can bring. This week, he talks to Anna Sale about the many factors that led to his relatively smooth child star experience and his continued positive outlook in an industry that can be cruel and unpredictable.  Podcast production by Cameron Drews.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anna talks to PJ Vogt, host of the podcast Search Engine, about his distinct writing and interviewing style. Then we share one of our favorite episodes of Search Engine, which poses the question: When do you know it's time to stop drinking? In that episode, you'll hear PJ talk to A.J. Daulerio, who writes a newsletter and hosts a podcast about recovery called The Small Bow. He also writes an addiction advice column for Slate called Ask A.J.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this exclusive Slate Plus episode, Anna talks about sexual fantasies and turn-ons with Jessica Stoya and Rich Juzwiak, writers behind Slate’s very informative sex column, How to Do It. They discuss where sexual fantasies come from, how to talk about them with your partner (or partners!), and what our turn-ons say about our identities.  Podcast production by Cameron Drews. This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock weekly bonus episodes of Death, Sex & Money, but you’ll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.

One day on his morning Uber route, Jason Armstrong got an email from his father. The message: at 85, he'd decided to end his life by stopping eating and drinking. Jason's first reaction? This was the "ultimate act of narcissism." But over the next few months, as Jason witnessed his dad's careful preparations, his perspective shifted. In this episode, Jason talks to Anna about processing his father's choice - from panic attacks on morning walks to a poignant final night sharing tiny sips of favorite drinks, and opens up about grappling with love, tenderness, and what it means to honor a parent's wishes, even when they're hard to accept.  Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Public.com Ad Disclosure: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elizabeth* has a secret life as a hoarder. None of her colleagues or family members know that her apartment is filled to the brim with garbage bags, discarded hobbies and beautiful writing paper. Instead, she hosts an anonymous podcast detailing her struggles and efforts to declutter. In this episode, she talks to Anna about her complicated relationship with objects, how it relates to money anxiety and sexual identity, and how she’s trying to be more honest with people in her life.  * Elizabeth is a pseudonym. Her podcast is called, That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding. Also this week, a listener asked for recommendations on how to rekindle old friendships. Have thoughts? Send them to deathsexmoney@slate.com. Here are some links to episodes, and Slate advice, on friendship.  Opportunity Costs: Friendship and Fertility Books We Love: A Big Conversation About “Big Friendship” Between Friends: Stories About Race and Friendship Advice Week: Friendship Edition   Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Slate Plus episode, actor J. Smith-Cameron (who listeners may know from her work on Succession and Hacks) discusses her work with The States Project, an organization that helps raise funds for crucial political races at the state-level.  Smith-Cameron also discusses why she got into political donating, the importance of small donations, and how she manages her financial anxiety as a working actor.  Here’s our previous episode with J. Smith-Cameron, where she talked to Anna over egg creams and omelets.  And here’s her Sleater-Kinney music video.    Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.

If you lived in Columbus, Georgia in the 90s, you might remember a queer club called Sensations. But Bob the Drag Queen knew Sensations by day, not night – she was in elementary school when her mom owned the place. Bob eventually moved to New York City, and now, she’s an international stand-up comedian and drag star. In this episode, Bob talks to Anna about turning her big ideas into iconic side hustles, trying to move her family into a bigger home, and supporting and collaborating with queer and trans people in small U.S. towns as a co-host of the HBO reality show Elsewhere. Podcast production by Afi Yellow-Duke and Lilly Clark in 2021.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In February Charlotte Cowles’ personal essay for New York magazine about getting scammed out of $50,000 went viral. Some people reacted to the story by sharing similar scam experiences, others were more critical. In this bonus interview, Anna talks to Charlotte, who is also the Cut’s financial-advice columnist, about the experience of getting scammed, how it felt sharing her story, and how it’s changed her approach to money and giving financial advice.

Martha Wainwright was born into a world of music and folk fame, with songwriter parents Loudon Wainwright III and Kate McGarrigle and brother Rufus. In this episode, Martha opens up about love and jealousy, the profound impact of losing her mother to cancer, and how she discovered new sexiness following her divorce. Martha Wainwright’s memoir is called Stories I Might Regret Telling You. You can listen to a playlist of songs featured in the episode on Apple Music or Spotify. Podcast production by Andrew Dunn Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After Cody Delistraty’s mom died in his early 20s he decided to turn his grief into a research project with one central question: can grief be cured? In this episode, he talks to Anna about all of the various remedies he tried, what worked, and what lessons he learned along the way.  Cody’s book is called The Grief Cure: Looking For the End of Loss Looking for more episodes on grief and longing? Here are some from our archive: When Grief Doesn’t Move In Stages An End of Life Doctor’s Shocking Loss Cut Loose: Your Stories of Breaking Up Podcast production by Andrew Dunn. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We first talked to Maddi in 2021 as part of our “Weight of Love” episode. She told us her ex lied about their relationship because he was embarrassed to be dating a fat person. We called her back to see how she’s been, and how she’s approaching dating now.

Your stories about how navigating weight and body size inside a relationship has sometimes made your partnerships stronger…and sometimes broken them apart. Since we originally recorded this episode in 2021, the way we talk about weight loss has changed with drugs like Ozempic. We want to hear more of your stories about weight and love especially if you’ve taken new weight loss medications. How has the experience impacted your close relationships? Record a voice memo or write us an email and send it to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener named Jackie says her father used her inheritance as a tool to control her behavior, so she fought back.  Want more inheritance stories? Listen to our episode, When Death, Family and Money Mix Podcast production by Zoe Azulay.